Coping With Rejection: Yes, You Can Be Angry


Anger is as natural a reaction to rejection as crying, but there is one absolute golden rule that you've got to follow:

Do not send snarky, angry responses to a rejection e-mail.

You can't go firing off angry e-mails to agents. Talk about unprofessional. Have you ever seen some of the messages agents get in response to rejections? It's madness. It might seem really satisfying to send an agent a list of reasons why they're wrong about your book, but that is quite possibly the worst idea you'll ever have and, when the anger cools and you regain your senses, you'll be like this:

No matter how it irks you, whether it's a form rejection, or it's "Dear Author" when agents say "Please don't send any 'dear Agent' e-mails!", or your name's spelled wrong for the fifth time in a row, or it's silence on a full with a follow-up e-mail, just... just...




(Are we allowed to say that without using Frozen gifs?)

Take that anger and use it elsewhere. Write an angry scene, go play a videogame (first person shooters and Tomb Raider work best for me and ohmigawd how unhinged does that make me sound?! "RAGE MAKES ME SEEK HEADSHOT ACHIEVEMENTS IN VIDEOGAMES MWAHAHAHAHAAA!!!), stand outside and scream as loud as you can (then assure your neighbours/random passersby everything's fine). Walk. Run. Swim. Engage in a Netflix marathon. Just get that anger out, accept that it's another rejection and keep going.

Oh, and please don't take it out on friends or family members either. Rant at them, but don't be mean. It's not their fault.

People talk a lot about the sadness, but that frustration from the umpteenth rejection can easily turn to anger. Remember: it's never the agent's fault. It's not even your fault! It's one of those things. Stories are personal, and so are everybody's reasons for liking and disliking them. Don't go and blow your chances with another agent by sending a nasty message to one who rejected you.

Breathe through the rage, let it settle back down, regain your calm centre and send out the next batch. Your agent could be just around the corner!


  1. I've seen some of those emails crazy people send agents. o.O Yikes.

    If I'm annoyed at publishing, I usually take it out on fictional characters. :P (And that one time I destroyed the world...)

    1. I know. When agents tweet the emails they receive, I'm always amazed someone could shoot themselves in the foot so spectacularly.

      Wow, remind me to never upset you ;)

  2. Punch a pillow? Go to Lush and buy a relaxing bath bomb :) :) Vent off to your friends who love and support you and hold the faith in yourself. It's not a matter of 'if' you'll get published, but a case of 'when'. xxx


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