Cole's Guide to Coping With Rejection (And With Waiting for Responses) Basically, Coping With Querying!

On Monday I came to the realisation that my total rejection count for both Resistance and Colony topped fifty...
And after discussions with Emma A and Emma M, I thought I'd put together a guide to coping with rejection.

Because we're all in for rather a lot of it.

You're going to feel down.  You're going to feel like no one will ever want your book... And then you're going to dig deep and keep going because that's what we writers do.  In fact, querying is 99.9% a lesson in picking yourself back up again. 

So, here's my list of Things To Cheer Yourself Up With After a Rejection...

It works for dealing with querying in general, too.


2) Donuts.

Wait... wait... DONUTS AND BOOKS!

3) Play videogames in which you can work out all that tension. It's the perfect rejection coping tool...


4) Marathon a really good TV show to take the impatience out of the wait for news...


5) Create a playlist full of the cheeriest damn music known to mankind to lift your spirits after a rejection...

Yeah, good luck getting that cheery beat out of your head. MWAHAHAHAHA! NOW YOU ARE HAPPY!

6) Get away from the Internet for as long as you can.  STOP CHECKING YOUR E-MAIL CONSTANTLY!

It boils down to this - do something that makes you happy. DO NOT WAIT FOR AN AGENT REQUESTING YOUR BOOK TO BE HAPPY because you might be sad for a while.  It's up to you to stay upbeat.  Go out with your friends, go out for a walk, drink a lot of tea, remember how much you believe in your book and keep querying.

Never give up.


  1. *stares at the Krispy Kremes* WHY DO YOU NOT EXIST LOCALLY D:

    Playing video games while in the query trenches is SUCH a good strategy. I need to get going! I need an excuse to play games! :D

    1. Honestly, they provide such an amazing distraction. Hours go by without me checking my e-mail :D

  2. Great guide. I'm so with you on this--haven't counted my rejections yet but you know, probably better that I don't :) Good luck with querying!

    1. Yeah, I'm not entirely sure what made me do it, but books helped in the aftermath ;)

  3. I needed this post today! I recently crossed the 50 rejection-mark, too...but if I bought a book for every rejection this year, I'd be buying 2-5 a week!

    Video games are so good for venting frustration. Also, getting excited about another project can be a great distraction! I sometimes have a "sanity project" when I'm in the trenches (like one of the drafts I wrote earlier this year, which is completely non-commercial but was fun to write!).

    1. lol, me too!

      I think my SNI is a total sanity, never could be published kind of project, but sometimes you need to remember that you write for you, not for agents.

  4. Love this! It was definitely what I needed this week :)

  5. ... and try to get totally absorbed in the next project so you're not pinning all your publishing hopes and dreams on the novel you're querying.

    This is tough though--not only dealing with rejection, but waiting. How long to wait? I've read of people who queried 6 months to a year, maybe longer, before they got an agent. And in that time there were weeks where they heard nothing. For sanity's sake, you HAVE to get on and live your life. :)

    It's nice to know we're all in it together. Here's hoping for success for all of us!

    1. Yeah, and that, but sometimes that's a little easier said than done, so I wanted to go with the really fun stuff ^_^

      I'm not one for sharing stats, but you'd best be prepared to wait a while... and weeks of silence are pretty much how it goes. So here's a list of things to do to fill that silence :D

      Best of luck to you, Colin!

  6. Donuts and books!! That basically cures anything. ;)

  7. Ahh, love your coping mechanisms! Can't beat a Krispy Kreme! So nice to "meet" you!! :)

    1. Lovely to "meet" you, too ^_^

      There is nothing a Krispy Kreme cannot cure ;)


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